


MORE CERTAIN THAN DEATH

by Krafter2014



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes After Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Civil War Team Iron Man, Not Steve Friendly, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Very AU after CAWS
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 17:31:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14898924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krafter2014/pseuds/Krafter2014
Summary: You know the only certain things in life are taxes during and death at the end. Steve Rogers cheated the one, what about the other?BTW, this is after CA Winter Soldier and before AOU, so no more SHIELD, but the Winter Soldier isn't Bucky Barnes so I don't have to get into that fire ant nest of lies and betrayal.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [izumi2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/izumi2/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Ficlets from comment threads](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12844536) by [Krafter2014](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krafter2014/pseuds/Krafter2014). 
  * Inspired by [Policy and Politics of the Unemployed](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12725322) by [izumi2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/izumi2/pseuds/izumi2). 



> Disclaimer, I know nothing about the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) except what I've learned from paying my sometimes complicated taxes. This takes place not too long after CAWS and the data dump and is in the same universe as *Talking To A Brick Wall*, Chapter 3 in my *Ficlets*. Each chapter will be able to be read on its own and they will probably be very dialogue heavy and very unreliably posted as I can't control the plot bunnies.  
> Now gifted to izumi2 for the inspiration that is *Policy and Politics of the Unemployed*

The former SHIELD agent's ears perked up when she heard "Captain America" from the table beside hers in the cafeteria. She looked over to see Harry from Returns and Melinda from Collections laughing. She decided to see if she could join them to find out why "he" was mentioned. "May I add some laughter to my life, too? What's That Man done now?"

"Oh hi, Sharon, come on over." Melinda's voice was welcoming. "Apparently, Steve Rogers doesn't know about needing to pay his taxes."

"Nor does he listen to voice mails, read texts, read e-mails, or even read letters since he responds to none of the above, even when they are very obviously from the IRS. He hasn't filed a tax return since he was defrosted. I will admit that SHIELD being a secret spy agency made withholding problematical, but Rogers told me he knew nothing about income tax and he shouldn't have to pay it as he was an Avenger." Harry sounded bewildered, then apologetic, "Sorry, Sharon, I forgot."

"Don't worry about it, I'm mostly over SHIELD, if not what Rogers and Romanov did. What about that Missing In Action pay-out, didn't we keep our share of it?"

"We did, and when I said something about that while discussing what he owes, Rogers got highly offended that the US government kept some of his money and he didn't trust that they wouldn't use it for 'their agenda' against him." Melinda's delivery was dry as dust. "This, of course, being the same untrustworthy government that gave him the pay-out in the first place."

Harry said, "Melinda and I have been meeting with that blockhead for hours and we'll have to go back after lunch. At least some of the higher-ups will be at this one."

"Wait a minute, if Rogers never responded to anything, how did you get a chance to talk to him?"

"Tony Stark to the rescue, again. He brought Rogers to his appointment after getting him to make one in the first place. Harry is the agent who handles Tony's personal returns and mentioned the problem to him when Stark did his usual and signed his form with a smiley Iron Man mask. For someone who pays the full amount he owes every time, he does like to make us work for it. Rogers is just a jerk and wouldn't even listen to him about bringing someone from Tony's financial team with them and then complained about not understanding what we were saying."

Grinning, "I just have a standing appointment at the end of April to meet up with him to get an actual signature. I don't really mind, he doesn't try to hide income or anything, he just wants an acknowledgement that he could. The only time I was really worried was after the Senate made that grab for his personal and intellectual property. I was afraid he'd start using all the tax shelters he's entitled to, but he's a lot better person than most billionaires and just kept on the way he had been. I hear he drives his legal and accounting departments up the wall because he won't follow their advice. He was even nice enough sign autographs and help fix some of the office equipment while waiting for Rogers to finish. Dave said he fixed the printer connection! Anyway, that's why I was assigned to Rogers' case. They figured Melinda's worked with me before and we'd make a good team." 

"Wait another minute, should you be talking about this in public?" her previous career's induced caution was kicking in. 

"Stark has talked about his taxes lots of times and actually released some of his returns after that Senate hearing as a pointed reminder of what he could legally do to the US budget if he started claiming all the tax shelters he could. They had the little mask instead of a signature. Rogers was yelling on the sidewalk about us stealing his money after we broke for lunch. My, I didn't mean that pun, but if he keeps this up, he is going to be broke." Melinda couldn't have been more snide if she tried. "We aren't talking about anything that hasn't been or isn't going to be on the news. Rogers will probably be the lead story tonight, I saw some people taking video of him yelling at Stark with their phones. He wanted Stark to 'make it go away' and Stark was just shaking his head as they drove off."

Harry stated seriously, "We were willing to work with Rogers, with his history and all, but he is burning up any good will the IRS has for him. I expect we will be taking everything we can instead of making a deal. You would think he would know better, after all, the only certain things in life are taxes and death, and the IRS knows which happens in life and which ends it, don't we?"


	2. THE IRS DOESN'T ACCEPT "BECAUSE I'M CAPTAIN AMERICA" AS AN EXCUSE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just the first reaction. And what is a certain CEO planning?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Picture a television studio with video and copies of social media posts playing in the background. This program is broadcast less than two weeks after the last chapter.

Part of many breakfast routines was watching the news. One morning, the ratings for a single show went through the roof as people let each other know what was showing. Everyone, but everyone was watching the *Morning News in New York* show. 

………………………….

Christine Everhart Reports Live 

I'm sure everyone in the United States is just shocked by this headline after both LiveDiary and TWEETING exploded last week over the several different videos filmed by bystanders of Steve Rogers, Captain America, ranting on a sidewalk outside a New York IRS office building. Popular opinion is sympathetic toward Tony Stark who was the target of the rant and who seemed resigned to having to listen to more of it as he drove them both away. The most watched video (which was playing in the background as Christine talked) showed Rogers as he entered the car without stopping his dissertation on the injustice of the IRS not accepting "I'm Captain America, I shouldn't have to pay taxes." and "They'll just use the money in their agenda to control us." while Stark had to wait to facepalm before starting the car.

Posters on both TWEETING and LiveDiary are about evenly divided as to whether Rogers really does think Stark can "Make it go away!" for a tax bill or if Rogers was demanding that Stark pay it for him. Either way, these posts are representative: 

"Boy, is Rogers really saying he doesn’t have to pay taxes? Everybody pays taxes!!!!! I pay taxes on my miniscule little salary from working part-time at Trudys! What makes him so different." 

"Tony Stark rules the world according to Rogers if he thinks Stark can just makes taxes go away. I want that super power!"

"Didn't his money come from the same government (from OUR taxes) that he says is stealing it? He got that payout of back pay that my parents ranted about themselves. They weren't happy until they found out he wasn't getting a lump sum and I remember them saying something about how that would help with the amount of with-holding, so he isn't in a really high tax bracket."

"Is Stark supposed to 'Make it go away' by paying Rogers' taxes for him? I thought Captain America is supposed to stand for everything moral and just? What's moral and just about making someone else pay for your obligations?"

"We've all seen Stark's tax returns. He doesn't use any tax shelters or try to get out of paying ANY taxes. In fact, he's paying for a major portion of the US budget and Captain America wants him to pay MORE so he doesn't have to!!!! I'm so disappointed, Rogers used to be my favorite, but Iron Man will be from now on."

"I wonder how Tony could drive rolling his eyes the way he must have been doing. I hope Rogers shut up at some point."

Even rabid Captain America fans have been, shall we say, less than enthusiastic about their hero's behavior in this instance. "Captain America is a hero, our hero, and we should support him." was the most positive post I could find. 

I interviewed the official IRS representative Julie Doe (and yes that is her name) who gave me this statement:

"Just as all United States citizens, Steven Grant Rogers received bills for his taxes. He failed to file his tax return or file for an extension for any tax year after the IRS became aware of his return. To clarify, immediately after his revival, the now defunct agency SHIELD did not inform the IRS, nor even the government of his return nor that Mr. Rogers was now working and receiving financial compensation for that work.  
After the government and the IRS became aware of Mr. Rogers' current existence during the Chitauri invasion, his identity was verified. The government investigated and his Missing In Action pay situation was settled, with a set amount paid out over twenty years. As a side note, Captain America was a stage name and courtesy title not an official rank as discovered during this investigation, which was taken into account when his compensation and payout schedule were determined. The IRS then added him to their records and started sending him information and a request for a meeting. We received no response from Mr. Rogers and had to escalate matters. Fortunately, before it was necessary to serve Mr. Rogers with a summons to court, Dr. Stark became aware of the issue and facilitated a meeting between Mr. Rogers and our agents. That meeting occurred and Mr. Rogers was personally given all relevant documentation. At that time, the comment was made that "the IRS does not accept "because I'm Captain America" as a reason for not being under the same obligation as every other US citizen to file their tax return whether they have to pay any taxes or not. 

Mr. Rogers requested more time to understand the issue and, due to his unique circumstances, he has been allowed that time. As of yet, no agreement has been reached between Mr. Rogers and the IRS."

I'm sure everyone is well aware of Steve Rogers' "unique circumstances", but how many of us wish we were "just a boy from Brooklyn" who got special allowances from the IRS? I was unable to interview Tony Stark, but was able to talk with Pepper Potts, CEO of SI. She was very blunt when describing the situation "Tony pays all his tax obligations with very little resistance (I had to smile at that, remembering the little Iron Man mask signature on the published documents) and he makes sure that the company files all appropriate forms and pays what is needed for its employees as well as doing the same for his personal employees. While he does not pay a salary to any of the Avengers, he does pay for all their living expenses and provides the team's equipment, all of which are listed on his tax returns. This was explained to the team members in several meetings before they moved in as they would also have to include it on their tax returns as non-monetary benefits. Mr. Rogers was present for those meetings and had no questions at that time. Lest he disagree with this, I was also present during these meetings. Mr. Rogers and the other team members have access to Tony's legal department if they have any questions or concerns about their taxes. Dr. Bruce Banner and Clint Barton have both made use of that benefit, due their own 'special circumstances' but none of the others have done so."

I was also able to interview an IRS agent who spoke under the condition of anonymity "Rogers came into the building with an attitude. I wasn't in the actual meeting, but everyone around could hear him shouting. He just sounded like the most ignorant archetypical jerk around yelling about how he was sooo special and everything. Tony Stark brought him in and waited for him, I sure wouldn't done that. My eyes were sure opened to what Rogers is like and I feel real sorry for Dr. Stark having to be around him all the time. Talking about Dr. Stark, he didn't just ignore us while he waited either, he talked just like a normal person, really got involved when we started talking about our jobs. He even worked on some of the office stuff, fixed a printer that hadn't worked right in weeks! Everybody was impressed. I know he's called a genius, but I never believed it until it only took him ten minutes to fix a computer the IT guys had given up on. Dr. Stark just took it apart and got it working again like magic. Then he had to listen to that jerk blame him for taxes! Like I said, I felt real sorry for Dr. Stark."

While popular opinion is overwhelmingly against Mr. Rogers at the moment, we all know that can change, so I will be keeping track of the situation for my viewers. As always, if you have an opinion on, and/or information or a question about this story, post it on our LiveDiary account or our website.

………………………….

Later that day, everyone was talking and/or posting about one of the Morning News' segments while a certain CEO smiled and waited for the reaction. Pepper was very glad she had coordinated the timing of the interview with Christine and JARVIS so that Tony would be involved in a major project and unavailable to be yelled at by a supersoldier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The public begins to be educated on the reality of the Avengers' lifestyle.

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently I'm easily distracted from doing my budget, but I'm planning at least a court case chapter, a press conference chapter, and an Avengers meeting. I welcome anyone's suggestions for more scenes.


End file.
